Have you have set yourself New Year's resolutions$%: Is this the first time for you or are you a regular setter$%: I do not know what percentage of resolutions are achieved or, perhaps more to the point, how many are abandoned after a month or two of worrying about them! Judging by the statistics of gym membership with the new joiners and then the drop off in attendance - a large number! Many of us look to the New Year as a time to make the fresh start which does make some sense although it could be argued that Spring is an even better time for doing it.
What gets in the way of us achieving our resolutions$%: Probably the most critical factor is a lack of genuine commitment to achieving the resolution. Is it something you feel you "ought" to do, maybe to keep someone else happy$%: Were you "encouraged" to do it, possibly by something you saw in the media or by a friend or partner$%: Unless you feel really committed to the resolution, you will probably be open to a wide variety of reasons for not pursuing it! Another problem many of us create is setting ourselves resolutions which are too big without making allowances for other things going on in our lives. Having BHG's (Big Hairy Goals!) or "stretch" goals can be worthwhile if you have the right personal drive and support. There are other reasons and I am sure you can think of ones which have prevented you, and others you know, being successful in pursuit of your own resolutions.
For many people, the feeling that they have resolutions to pursue can be stressful, especially when they are not doing very well in moving forward, for whatever reason. If the resolution is thought of as another pressure, it is just adding to the many others and when these get to be too much - stress kicks in! Why add to your stressors$%: If you have set any resolutions, take an approach which will keep them empowering and positive.
How can you increase your chances of success - and have less stress$%:
Following some simple steps can help you.
Be sure you believe in the resolution - and the reasons for achieving it.
Whether you are looking to exercise more, learn a language, keep your room (or office) tidy - be sure that it is something you think is important. If it is not, then do not kid yourself by setting it, all you will do is be creating another stressor for yourself!
Create a clear vision or sense of what you will be like when the resolution is achieved.
What difference is it going to make to you when you have achieved what you want$%: Spend some time allowing your mind to "imaginise" or visualise how this "new" you will be. Write this down or find a picture or image which can represent it. Put copies around you - wherever you can see them easily. Someone I know has copies in his office and by his bathroom mirror so that he sees them first thing in the morning, during the day and then last thing before he goes to bed!!
Use positive language for your resolution.
The language we use when describing things has a much greater impact than many of us realise. Think about it - do you want to lose weight or would you rather be lighter or healthier$%: Do you want to :%$shy;give-up smoking or would you rather be a non-smoker or free from cigarettes$%: Although our reasons for doing things may be driven by "moving away" from the present situation, we will usually be more enthused if we focus on what we want, rather than what we don't want!
Be realistic in what you want to achieve.
Assess where you are starting from when thinking about where you want to be. A classic is weight loss. Aim for a realistic and gradual decrease and you are more likely to sustain it. Also, recognise that with some goals, you will have times where progress appears to slow right down and even plateau. Keep going when this happens and you will get to your intended aim. If your resolution is about getting fit - just how fit is fit$%: If you have done no exercise for several years, it might take more than 3 months to be in a suitable condition to run a marathon!
Set a manageable number of resolutions!
A few which you believe in and achieve will be preferable to a lot - several of which you miss! Be reasonable to yourself. What are the two or three you really want to have for yourself$%: Go for them!
Make the resolution(s) SMART.
Resolutions are a form of goal or objective and following a this approach can make a significant increase in your chances of success.
S = Specific. What, exactly, do you want to achieve$%: What do you want to have when you have achieved your aim$%: e.g. - do you want to be lighter or slimmer around your waist$%: This could influence how you plan to achieve your aim. Getting slimmer might not equal lighter if you opt to exercise at the gym and build muscle while losing fat!
M = Measurable. How will you know you have achieved your resolution$%: What is fit enough$%: What is "tidy" for your office or bedroom$%: If you cannot use numbers, identify what other ways you, and others, will know that you have achieved your aim.
A = Achievable (or attainable). There are two elements to this. Is the resolution within your control or does it need others to buy-in to it too$%: Set the level to something you can reach with a stretch - do not aim at an unrealistic level which is likely to disillusion you if you are not getting there. You can always set another target when you have reached the first one.
R = Relevant. If you have more than one resolution, ensure that they are supportive of each other. Spending more time with your partner or family might conflict with a wish to go to the gym 3 times a week - unless you go together! The resolutions should also be relevant to you and your own values and what is important to you.
T = Time bounded. Most of us work better to some form of deadline. Give yourself a realistic timescale to achieve your resolution by. If it is something which is on-going, use the time to have some check points to ensure you are sticking to what you are doing.
Develop an action plan for each resolution.
Following on from making your resolution SMART, it can be very effective to have a more detailed action plan for each resolution. This can be a simple flow chart, staircase or even a list of the actions you will take. Breaking the resolution into smaller chunks can help you feel that things are manageable and let you have a sense of progress as you work through it. A key part of this is to build in some sort of milestones to check that you are moving forward. In doing this action plan you might identify areas where you need some help or support - which is great, because you can arrange to get it.
Identify some simple, quick wins.
Look at your action plans and see what you can do relatively easily and quickly. Doing this will encourage you by giving you a sense of progress. Cutting out one particular "unhealthy" food, or making time for a walk each day might be examples of this. Clearing your desk, or a drawer in your room is another. To use the old clich:%$eacute; - the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
Reward yourself for progress and achievement.
As you reach key stages of the action plans, recognise your successes with some form of reward. What is something you really enjoy doing or consider a slight indulgence$%: You've earned it - so do it!
There is no failure!
Even if you are not progressing as quickly or as far as you would like, you are not failing!! This is a key message to take for yourself. Remember where you started and look at where you have reached. There is progress in this. Should you have resolved to be a non-smoker or to be alcohol-free on weekdays and have slipped - it is not the end of the world. If you managed to stick to your resolution for a month, you have proved to yourself you can do it. Either restart and just accept it was a blip, or use the step below.
Use support.
Share your resolutions with friends and family and let them know you want encouragement and support. Be as specific as you like in telling them what you want. If some people in your circle are likely to tempt you to break your resolution - avoid them! For some issues you may want to consider external support, such as a coach, personal trainer or therapist. Although they are your resolutions, you do not have to do it all on your own!
At the end of the day, setting resolutions can be good and very empowering. Be reasonable in your expectations and work with resolutions which matter to you. Follow the steps listed and then enjoy your successes!
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